Congratulations, and are warm welcome.
Reaching often out is the hardest part of the journey towards better emotional and mental health. By looking for help, you took the first step in this journey.
I have been working as a spiritual psychotherapist and counsellor in Ontario since August 2000. My approach is integrative, combining psychodynamic and transpersonal therapy tools on the foundation of a humanistic, client- centred approach.
I know that any successful therapeutic journey has to have the client’s own individuality and innate wisdom at its core. As such, I work in collaboration with my clients, helping them to discover the wisdom and unique insight that – I firmly believe – we all carry in us.
I would be honoured to walk a part of your path with you,
Things You Might Like to Know
Scheduling
Individual psychotherapy sessions are 60 minutes long, including payment and scheduling of the next sessions
Biographical relationship sessions are 120 minutes long.
Sessions are booked on an as-needed basis, often weekly or bi-weekly, depending on availability, financial concerns, and your sense of urgency.
Goals
In your first sessions, we will discuss your goals for therapy, your concerns, and the possible approaches to working towards your goals. Throughout your therapeutic journey, these goals will guide us. Sometimes, as apparent issues are resolved, less apparent ones surface. In some cases the newly discovered issue is the actual root or core issues from which many other concerns arise.
Preparing for the First Session – Intake
Before your first session, you will be asked to fill in an intake form that includes a history of your life, as well as some general questions about your health and current life situation.
The intake serves two purposes:
- It helps me to get a first impression of the content of your life story.
- It offers you a catalyst for bringing awareness to the emotions surrounding past experiences.
Process and Progress in session
Individual sessions usually start with “talk therapy”, offering you an opportunity to recount important events, insights, or thoughts that occurred since your last session.
When your goal or topic for this specific session becomes apparent, you will be given space to explore your questions, hopes, fears, issues, and blocks around it. As a client-centred psychotherapist, I don’t hold a particular agenda or execute a specific treatment program (the exception here being Biographical Relationship sessions, which follow a specific structure).
There are no right or wrong topics for each session. Whatever stands out for you is relevant and appropriate to explore. In my experience, it is not helpful to try and work on a general goal while being emotionally triggered by a specific event – and in the end, most things that trigger us are connected, and in some way relate to our core issues. However, should you ever feel that we are going off-topic for too long, let me know, and I adjust our direction.
My part in your journey is that of a guide: I will ask questions, offer reflection, point out incongruences, and offer support when the road gets too difficult. I also will challenge you if I feel that you are avoiding a necessary exploration for too long. However, should I ever push too hard, I ask you to let me know. There are always other routes that can be taken.
Whenever I introduce a new tool or modality into your therapy, I will do my best to explain it, and why I believe it would be beneficial for you. If you don’t want to try a modality, just let me know. I only suggest. I never insist. Modalities will only work if you, the client, are engaged with them.
Equally, if you have heard of a modality you think may work for you, please let me know. If I can facilitate it in your sessions, I will gladly do so, unless I feel that it would create problems for you, in which case I will discuss that with you.
Emotional Process and Progress
Psychotherapy is about change and self-awareness. We can not change what we don’t know – and accept. Therefore, the first step to creating a more balanced emotional life is to accept yourself as you are. Once you are no longer fighting yourself, it becomes easier to see: your weaknesses as well as your strengths, recurring patterns in your life, possible new approaches to old issues, and parts of yourself that may be holding on to painful patterns because those patterns are familiar.
As with all change, there are ups and downs in therapy, a series of shifts and insights, some painful, some uplifting. Occasionally you may leave a session feeling worse than when you arrived. Whenever possible I will try to resolve such feelings before the session ends, but sometimes that may not be possible. If you feel that you need extra tools to settle down in such a situation, please let me know. I will do my best to provide those to you.
Staying in the process of your emotional change in between sessions is important to create lasting change. Doing deep work once a week for one hour, and not looking at any of the new insights and behaviours for the other six days and 23 hours, will not create change. I do offer my clients homework. This is not meant to be work that will be reported on or marked in your next session, but exercises and suggestions that will encourage you to stay with your process in between sessions. It is up to you if and how deeply you work with them – but the more you do, the faster and deeper the change will occur. However, therapy is not a race: the first and foremost skill to practice is self-compassion, and listening to your own heart and mind.
Creating change means that the people around you will also have to change to some degree. While you do so out of your own desire, your friends and family have not been planning on change. They may resist, seemingly trying to boycott your progress. Conflicts may arise when old, traditional roles are challenged. As best possible we will discuss and prepare for this aspect of change in session, and it will be important to remember that the acceptance of change may take some time.
The Client-Therapist Relationship
It has been shown over and again, that the most important indicator for the success of therapy is the therapeutic relationship between client and therapist. I strive to create a safe environment for you to explore your questions and issues. I won’t advise on how to live your life or answer direct questions about what to do in specific situations. Instead, I will help you discover your answer from within yourself.
Safety and trust are built over time. They are based on open communication, respect for, and positive regard for one another. I believe that you, the client, have all the wisdom and knowledge you need to grow into your own best self already in you. As such, whatever you bring into your sessions will be treated with respect, acceptance, and curiosity. However, I am human, too; and sometimes your story may trigger something in me, or a personal concern may make it more difficult for me to focus on details in your work. If you ever feel that I am not as present to you as you need me to be, if you feel judged or misunderstood, please let me know. It is in these conversations that trust can be built.
Ending Therapy
The final goal of your therapeutic process is to enable you to direct your own process, your own exploration, and your own life with more certainty and confidence. When you are ready to step into your life without the regular support of me, your therapist, we have reached that goal. When you feel that you have reached your goals in therapy with me – or if you wish to discontinue your therapeutic journey with me for any other reason – we will have a closing session (sometimes that is only a part of a session). You can decide to discontinue therapy altogether, move to a maintenance schedule of a few check-ins a year, to to come back on an as-needed basis.
Nothing is written in stone. However, if I do not hear from you for a whole year, I will close your file to allow new clients into my practice. This does not mean that you will not be allowed to return at a later time, but only that, when you do, you will be treated with the same criteria as a new client, e.g. subject to availability, requested to update your intake, etc.
In some rare situations, I may suggest that you end your therapeutic journey with me, but continue it with another colleague. This may happen for example, if a life situation occurs for you which goes beyond my scope of practice and experience, or if it seems not possible for us to develop a trusting therapeutic relationship. In such situations I may ethically be bound to end our therapeutic relationship in order to prevent harm coming to you. Should the be the case, I will discuss my concerns and suggestions with you, and support you to the best of my abilities in your search for another therapist.
The word psychotherapy is a compound of the Greek words psykhe (Latin: psyche) meaning “the soul, mind, spirit; breath; the invisible animating principle or entity which occupies and directs the physical body” and therapeia (Latin: therapia) meaning “to attend to, do service, take care of”. In other words, Spiritual Psychotherapy is Spiritual Soul Care.
Defining soul or spirit is a difficult undertaking since these words mean so many different things to different people. Here I am offering my own understanding of soul and spirit to make it easier to understand my approach to psychotherapy.
In my understanding, soul is the individual experience of the eternal whole, unique in its expression yet inseparable and indistinguishable from the whole. This whole is spirit; unfathomable as a whole, which, I guess, is why we come with a soul.
Our souls are what make me, me and you, you. Soul is how we understand the world. My soul is unique to me although it is made up of exactly the same stuff as anyone else’s soul. I liken it to genetics: out of the millions of possible manifestations from my gene pool, I ended up as this unique person. Similarly, out of billions of possible ways of being human and connecting to the world, I ended up with this unique way of thinking, feeling, seeing the world, understanding it, and being in it.
Consequently, soulful expression and living an authentic and true life does not mean one particular way of being. It means expressing oneself as closely as possible through the unique make-up of one’s own soul! The difficulty often lies in distinguishing between what we see through the lenses of our souls versus what we experience through the filters of our fears and the conditioning we may have received in life.
Spiritual psychotherapy — or spiritual soul-care — is the process of re-aligning ourselves with our lives and to rediscover our soulfulness or our true way of being in the world. Carl Rogers described this as the constant striving for self-actualization, i.e. to fulfill our potential and achieve the highest level of human-beingness we can. However, in order to integrate soul and spirit, we also need to keep our view on the whole of which we are a part. This whole includes not only spiritual realms, but also the living planet we call home, the cultures and societies we live in, and the people and creatures who surround us. All of this is – in some shape and form – reflected in us, just as we reflect it back. Therefore, any work we do on our selves, every change we make in our own being, has a profound impact on the world around us. And vice versa, that which happens in the world, even far from our conscious awareness, has an impact on us. These connections, too, are part of the tapestry explored in Soul-Spirit Integration.
As a client-centred, humanistic therapist, I experience the value of Carl Rogers’ approach daily in my work with clients. Rogers held that the path to self-actualization is as individual and unique as the person walking it. Thus my focus in psychotherapy is on the needs of my clients. No therapeutic tool or approach can be successful if it doesn’t engage the client or doesn’t speak to their unique understanding of the world — their soul.
As a transpersonal therapist, I also understand that a person’s spiritual experiences and beliefs, be they based on formal religion, philosophy, or eclectic and personal studies, can not be separated from that person’s experience of the world. In order to accommodate and support my clients’ exploration of their spirituality and the connection between their life experiences and the life they are living — between their souls and the spiritual whole — I also work with tools and modalities that traditionally are not considered psychotherapeutic.
Some of the therapeutic tools I use in my work include…
- unconditional and non-judgemental listening: giving you space to unload and disentangle your thoughts and experiences
- talk therapy: exploring your experiences and life story in conversation
- body-mind connection: helping you to connect to the wisdom of your body
- chakra and energy awareness: helping you to understand and balance the subtle energies that influence your emotions, thoughts, and sometimes even your actions
- prayer, meditation, and contemplation: to help you find your own preferred and most successful way of communicating with your soul and with spirit
- drawing, art, and colour work: to help you connect to the playful part of yourself, to your creativity, and to experiences that may be hidden in your subconscious
- gestalt-oriented and experiential work: movement and placement in physical space can help us understand our inner landscape and personal experiences differently
- voice dialoguing, subpersonalities, and archetype exploration: to create and understand the inner map of experiences and messages that influence your life
- guided imagery and facilitated explorations: to give you simple and easy access to the messages of your soul and to help you read your life experiences in a more holistic context.
- dream work: to allow you to explore the messages your soul sends in the dark of night
- biography work: exploring patterns in your life story and the meaning of seemingly random life events to create a more coherent understanding of who you are
- and much more
All these tools serve the same end: to help my clients gain deeper mastery of their inborn power and wisdom, to help them re-connect to their lives as fully as possible. By integrating the different aspects of their lives and beginning to trust their own knowledge of Self, my clients once again create balance and harmony in their own lives.
Soul-Spirit Integration is a wholistic approach to life. It acknowledges the influence personal experiences, emotions, and beliefs have on our lives, relationships, general well-being, and motivation; and it acknowledges the influence of the physical environment on our emotional well-being. Going beyond the important recognition of the body-mind connection, Soul-Spirit Integration also takes into account the wider connection of the human being to universal forces and the energies of the earth and humankind at large.
In therapy sessions, a variety of the tools mentioned in the Spiritual Psychotherapy Tools tab may be used to further the inner process and exploration of a variety of different areas of the client’s emotional landscape. Each client’s emotional landscape is different and may change over time. Client goals are usually closely related to this landscape and an understanding of it can be very helpful when starting therapy.
Below are brief descriptions of some of the emotional landscapes I work with most. The tools and modalities I choose to facilitate their exploration depend on the client’s engagement in therapy and the depth of their distress at any given time.
The Emotional Landscape
Managing Change
The only thing constant in life is change.
Although we all know this is true, change remains one of the most difficult things for most people. Change happens in many forms and to many different degrees every day of our lives. Other changes happen unexpectedly and may require a complete rethinking of our beliefs, assumptions, and patterns. But the most vexing changes are those that are inevitable, expected, and yet unknown: Life Transitions.
Crossroad & Emotional Impasse – sometimes we sense that our life is changing but we don’t quite understand or can envision why and how and where it is going. Or we feel stuck in a distressing emotional state, feeling unable to move out of it and let go. Making decisions can become paralyzing if we don’t see the forest for the trees and having someone who can help us gain an overview and explore our options can be what is needed to move forward with life again.
Sudden Life changes – the end of a relationship, a death, an accident: sometimes life changes quickly and it seems that our world comes to an end. Dealing with such sudden changes can be difficult because we don’t want to burden our loved ones or we just have left the person or place in the world that anchored us and made us feel safe. We may be looking for a place where we can grieve, regroup and find our feet again.
Life transitions – growing from being a child into being a teenager, from being single to being a partner, having children, growing older, retiring – are turning points in our life story and how we navigate them defines how the rest of our story goes. Much hinges on them and all too often we only think of them when they are creating problems in our lives. These life transitions usually are accompanied by some very deep inner changes. Our self-image changes through them, our understanding of ourselves and what we are capable of. Working consciously with those times in our lives can be a deeply rewarding and enriching experience, one that helps us expand who we are in the world, rather than pushing us around in it.
Self-Exploration & Boundaries
When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself. (Paulo Coelho)
Who Am I? Sooner or later in life most people are facing this question. Sometimes it results from a life change. Sometimes it just comes up when contemplating our life story so far. We may get feedback from friends and family about something being different about us or feel restless and unhappy without any apparent reason. Too often we identify ourselves from the outside in: our career, family status, appearance, social status, etc. are used to identify me. But is that really all we are? What about our core values, special skills and talents, desires and dislikes? By exploring who we really are or who we are becoming we can find renewed meaning in our lives. By learning how to set appropriate and loving boundaries we can begin to heal our relationships and bring them in alignment with this real me that we discover.
Fear and Anxiety
According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada, “the 12-month prevalence for any anxiety disorder is over 12% and one in four Canadians (25%) will have at least one anxiety disorder in their lifetime”. (1)
Fear, like all emotions, developed originally as a tool for protection and survival. It is an indicator of boundaries being overstepped: physical boundaries such as those of our homes or even our bodies; emotional and mental boundaries as those of our wishes, beliefs, and will. Fear is not a feeling to get rid of but one to understand and work with. However, a constant experience of living in and with fear can lead to anxiety that can become crippling. Working with fear and anxiety in therapy often includes a two-pronged approach: practical tools to manage and master the symptoms of anxiety so that life quality can be enhanced and exploring the deeper, often very personal approach to fear in general, including the history of fear and fear management in one’s life and a more truthful understanding of one’s ability to deal with the dangers and problems of life.
Fear (and anxiety) likely will never completely “go away” — and really, they shouldn’t. But for most people, it is possible to come to a new and productive relationship with fear, one in which fear regains its original role: a warning of imminent or possible danger.
(1) See more at: http://mindyourmind.ca/expression/blog/statistics-canada-releases-mental-health-survey-results#sthash.JeDHM1SR.dpuf
Loss and Grief
Loss is an integral part of life. Without loss, there is no new beginning. Everything ends — and yet, energy can not be destroyed.
Loss is a natural part of life. Yet, we live in a time and society where loss and grief are often denied or pathologized. Working with loss and grief is a very personal and individual process that can not be hurried or compressed into a particular time frame or format. It includes
- allowing memories to come
- allowing and exploring all feelings that come up around the loss
- exploring one’s belief about life, death, and what may lie in between
- spiritual and faith-based activities — and questions
- readjustment to life without the lost part
- facing one’s own fears of death and loss
- etc.
Grief work also is not limited to losses through death. Loss happens to us in many forms and needs to be grieved/worked with, from the loss of youth to the loss of a relationship or career, financial losses, loss of health and physical capacity, loss of innocence, and much more.
Recurring Life-Patterns
I did it again. Why does that keep happening to me?
Repeating patterns are somewhat normal in life. When we become aware of them, they alert us to a need for growth and change. We may keep attracting the same kind of partner, end up having the same fights and disappointments at work, suffer the same kind of losses over and again. Exploring our part in the (re)creation of those life patterns and making changes to our thinking and behaviour that discourage these patterns and build new ones can be difficult. Often our thought patterns follow that same (re)creation process. An honest mirror and a safe place for exploration may be needed.
My Part
I work with an integrative model of therapy, drawing from client-centred, transpersonal (psychosynthesis) and psychodynamic schools of thought. I consider myself a guide: I can hold a light for my clients to explore the unknown corners of their lives and their Self. I can offer perspective and ask questions to help shift existing understanding. I can provide a map for the journey of self-discovery and some tools for dealing with painful insights, difficult transitions and hard decisions. But in the end, you are the expert of being you. I can only help you discover the wholeness of who that really is.
The Client’s Part
Most of the landscapes described above are more prevalent for adults and my practice is oriented to working with adult clients over the age of 18. As much of my work is oriented around the exploration of one’s Self in relationship to the world around us, clients who are curious about their life patterns, open to self-exploration, change and self-honesty and have a world-view that goes beyond their immediate experiences do best in their work with me. Engagement in your own growth and learning usually brings faster results and deeper, more permanent changes.
That does not mean that you have to have it all figured out at the start of your therapy. We will set your goals in our shared exploration and work in cooperation toward reaching them in the best way possible. The speed and depth of change and growth depend on many factors incl. the circumstances of the client’s life and since no two lives are exactly the same, every client’s goals and process are different. Together, we can find the best way for you to move toward your goals.
On April 1st, 2015 the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO) was proclaimed. The CRPO is a regulatory college under the Registered Health Professions Act, similar to the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario or the College of Psychologists of Ontario. The mission statement of the CRPO is …
“To develop standards and procedures to regulate psychotherapists in the public interest, striving to ensure competent and ethical practice within a professional accountability framework.”
I am an active member of the CRPO with the registration status of Registered Psychotherapist or RP, registration number 1046. Only members of the CRPO are permitted to use this restricted title to make it easy for members of the public to determine what kind of training and experience the therapist with whom they are working may have. Registered Psychotherapists have to have comprehensive training specific to the practice of psychotherapy. We also have to have tools and practices that allow us to assess our competency and safe and effective use of self (of our experiences, personalities, social skills, etc) on an ongoing basis.
Members of some other professions are also allowed to use the terms “psychotherapy” or “psychotherapist”. However, they are not permitted to use the title of RP or Registered Psychotherapist unless they have completed additional training that satisfies the requirements of the CRPO and are members of the CRPO. Their practices of psychotherapy underlie the regulations of their own regulatory college. These professions are: medical doctors and psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, occupational therapists, and nurses.
As a member of the CRPO, I am bound by the regulations and standards of excellence that the college promotes. I am also bound by the
CRPO’s Code of Ethics
As a member of the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario, I strive to practise safely, effectively and ethically, and to uphold the following principles:
Autonomy & Dignity of All Persons
To respect the privacy, rights and diversity of all persons; to reject all forms of harassment and abuse; and to maintain appropriate therapeutic boundaries at all times.
Excellence in Professional Practice
To work in the best interests of clients; to work within my skills and competencies; maintain awareness of best practices; and to pursue professional and personal growth throughout my career.
Integrity
To openly inform clients about options, limitations on professional services, potential risks and benefits; to recognize and strive to challenge my own professional and personal biases; and to consult on ethical dilemmas.
Justice
To strive to support justice and fairness in my professional and personal dealings, and stand against oppression and discrimination.
Responsible Citizenship
To participate in my community as a responsible citizen, always mindful of my role as a trusted professional; and to consult on potential conflicts-of-interest and other personal-professional challenges.
Responsible Research
To conduct only basic and applied research that potentially benefits society, and to do so safely, ethically and with the informed consent of all participants.
Support for Colleagues
To respect colleagues, co-workers, students, and members of other disciplines; to supervise responsibly; to work collaboratively; and to inspire others to excellence.
Approved at Council November 16, 2011.
You can find out more about the CRPO at their website at http://www.crpo.ca/. Listings in the public register of the CRPO can be found here: https://www.crpo.ca/find-a-registered-psychotherapist/
Should you ever find reason to be unsatisfied with or concerned about my work or work ethics and feel that you can not resolve your concerns in conversation and collaboration with me, you can address your concerns to the CRPO. You can find information about the Complaints and Concerns process here: http://www.crpo.ca/home/complaints-and-concerns/
Sabine Cox, RP – registration number 1046